Shana Bearden

9-9-09 10 pm
Well, it has been over a week since Shana passed on to a better life. People have been wonderful and we had two really nice services that I hope exhibited the love and admiration we all had for Shana. Thank you for all of the wonderful and reassuring comments, cards, flowers and phone calls. It is reaffirming to know that so many people loved my wife and that she had a positive impact on so many. She was far more amazing a person than even her closest friends know. She truly cared about people and her faith. I will spend the rest of my life remembering the good times and the bad times we had. They were magical and I miss them horribly.

The kids seem to be doing pretty well. They have cried and are very worried about me. God bless them for all they are doing to babysit me. For my part, I am doing pretty well during the daytime because I am busy but sometimes I get reminded and it is very difficult to take a breath. Nightime is another matter. It is very hard to be in the house and not feel Shana around me. It gets very lonely here at night but I will muck on through and try to get along. What I miss the most is the closeness and warmth I got just knowing she was in the room. I sometimes see a note she wrote or an article of clothing and it is difficult to deal with the reality that she is gone. I knew for two years that she would eventually pass but that does not make the event any easier to endure. Chrissy and April and families have gone home for a couple of weeks. Brad and Wes and families have been very caring and supportive and have spent a lot of time with me but I know they have better things to do than to hang around with their old man. I am back at work but not getting much done because I have a hard time concentrating. Times are just tough right now
jim